What I've Learned from Living Alone

As of this week, I have officially lived alone for a month in my super mega awesome rental house. I LOVE living alone (with my pup, Rigby) but it is certainly something different. In undergrad, I lived in a single room my sophomore year, but living in a residence hall stuffed with people your age is completely different than living alone in a house. I have certainly learned a few things about myself over this past month that I thought you might find interesting, entertaining, and probably a bit concerning.

Things I Have Learned from Living Alone:

Maintaining socially-acceptable behavior. This is easy when you're out in public with the world's judgmental eyes to keep you from walking naked through the grocery store. However, I found myself wondering how far from this I would get when I'm just sitting at home. It started with my drinking straight from the orange juice bottle in the fridge. No, no one was coming over any time soon much less anyone who would be seeking orange juice, but it made me question if I was starting down a slippery slope into full on cave woman behavior. Yes, a bit dramatic but then...I found myself walking around in my bra after showers and such. I don't just come home, running through the house tearing off all my clothes. You can ask my previous roommate of 3 years - I NEVER just hang out in my undergarments, even when I'm putting on make-up. It is weird. The upside is that living alone has made me care less about what other people are (most likely not) thinking about me. Yesterday, I mowed my side lawn and the foot-tall patch of weeds with my little motor-less reel mower with no shame. It took an hour to mow maybe 20 square feet of grass, but I did it.

Hallucinating music. This might be the most disturbing one. I listen to music almost literally from the moment I wake up until I get home from work. I play guitar and often have songs in my head, even when other music is on. Ironically enough, my hearing is pretty shoddy but I can almost always hear the song in the background over the nonsensical murmur of speech in a crowded place. For a few nights in a row, I thought there was a neighbor playing music late at night after I had turned off the tv or closed my book and had put Rigby to bed. One night, I got up to investigate because it seemed like it was right outside my door. Nothing. I had been hearing it in my head. It was pretty spooky and it still happens from time to time. I assure you I don't have a brain tumor or anything. I think my mind just tries to fill in the holes with sound. Moving on...

Loneliness and freedom. I will say my experience has been overwhelmingly pleasant thus far. I am free to drive around whenever and wherever I want. I go explore nature trails and new towns and art galleries without worrying about making sure someone else is having fun. That might sound selfish, but it's in my nature to enjoy alone time. However, now that my cup overfloweth with alone time, I find myself sometimes feeling oppressively lonely. It was nice to live in a town where I could call people up to go for a walk, or to see my roommate when I got home and listen to how her day went. Now, there's really not anyone to call. It would be one thing if I was living across the ocean with almost no chance of others coming to see me or vice versa, but living a few states over from all of your friends and family has this bittersweet taunt to it. I'm technically within driving distance, but it's an 11-hour drive. Woof. I would say 98% of the time, I'm happy as a clam and enjoying my new life. But that other 2% can be pretty lonely and I think that's just a part of it.

Well, that's the gist of it. Oh, and I still hate to grocery shop. I always have.

Have you ever lived alone? Do you find yourself doing weird things when you're alone? Am I the only one who hallucinates music?!